I'm always thinking about secrets.
This weekend I discovered Diva and her blog, and it brought back all of my memories of having a secret life. My secret life was both thrilling and shameful at the same time.
Then this morning on the radio I heard the person who runs this website, discussing what it's like to be the repository of the world's secrets.
Secrets are what brought my previous marriage down. Not just mine, of course, but secrets, nonetheless. And of course, the fact that I identify as a submissive is still a secret to many.
My close friends know that I am kinky, and a submissive.
What is the difference between secret and private? The power to decide for yourself who you tell and what you tell.
When the power of who you tell and what you tell is taken away from you, the shame comes flooding back. It's a secret all over again.
Maybe that's why I came back to my blog with renewed vigor. This is my story to tell, and I won't let him, or anyone else, tell it. I don't want to be defined by anyone else. I want power over my life and all of its gory details. It's my life. And now I'll publish this before I break into that annoyingly catchy Bon Jovi song.
Monday, June 30, 2008
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